Saturday, February 11, 2012

I'm disturbed


I think there's something seriously wrong with me.  This isn't a new thought, but something that floats in and out of my consciousness on occasion.  Every once in a while I catch myself, and think, "You are just not normal."

I'm not sure why it is, but I have this almost obsessive need to make things.  Things that are readily available for purchase.  Things that I don't need.  Sometimes things that I don't particularly want even.  But, I want to know how they are made, and then once I find out, I seem to NEED to make it.  I know people who are perfectly content to see something in a store, or online, and say "That's cute."   They either buy it, or don't buy it.  They might tell someone they saw it, and how much they liked it.  But there is no voice inside their head saying, "I could make that.  I wonder how long it would take me.  Do I have all of the stuff at home that I need, or should I stop on the way home? If I made it, I wonder if anyone would want to buy it.  I bet I could make that.  Yes, I need to go home and make that."

For a while, I kind of thought everyone thought that way.  Sort of like I thought everyone had double vision when they were tired...but that's a different story.  I know that there are lots of other people out there like me, but it's become clear to me, that it is NOT normal.  Slightly irritating.  Both to myself and those around me. Is this a mild form of OCD?  Is there medication for it?  If there is medication for it, I wonder what's in it.  I wonder if I could make it....

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